After taking an hour break—went back out and tried one last time before going to bed, and it finally popped loose.
It occurred to me in the shower that I needed a different leverage point due to the odd angle (the SGW back rests towards the LHD, and you kind of have to pull down and towards you if sitting in the driver’s seat, or up and away if outside the door, on your knees, praying to the auto Gods).
I put my back on the driver’s seat, face pushed against the steering wheel, legs dangling out, reached all the way in under the steering column with my right hand like I was pulling a newborn calf from a cow.
Instead of using my index finger to apply pressure on the tab and pull with my middle and thumb, I turned my my hand clockwise, used my thumb for the tab.
This provided me with more fingers to grip, and I just wiggled a bit and then pulled towards me with what leverage I had and any muscle fiber stretched across my pecs to delts—and boom came out in the first try.
I got everything connected and closed back up. Plugged in my shiny new Performance Logger from Squadra via Alfissimo and all was right.
MES changes today… what I was really after with this install